3 years ago when I started Stoned Santa, never had I imagined that I would have to QUIT my startup, and move on, and today here I am sharing my story of “Why I quit”.
I finally understand what it means when they say – “Time is the best healer”
Starting my company was so much easier than moving away from it. Today I can finally look back and say — “Oh, boy! It was one hell of a ride”.
Moving away from the startup that I loved so dearly was heartbreaking and perhaps one of the most difficult phases of my life.
For a long time, I thought I could not do this. I cannot abandon my baby and QUIT. The very idea of moving away from Stoned Santa pained me, and I felt it in my gut.
I lost hope, will, and all self-confidence, and I felt like a loser for a long-long time. Days turned to weeks and weeks to months.
Although I had made up my mind that I’ll quit, and move on. But I couldn’t make peace with the decision. Somewhere deep down my heart, I hoped that things could perhaps get better, and I could bounce back.
and in all honesty, I could have chosen to fight back, and hustle harder and find my way out.
But I chose not to.
Moving away was tough, perhaps the toughest decision I’ve ever made in life. It felt like I was abandoning my baby, but I’m grateful the brand is big enough to self sustain and take care of itself, thanks to some of my friends, and relatives.
It took me almost 6 months to accept that I have QUIT my startup, and here I am sharing it with you.
Quitting my startup perhaps was a very liberating feeling, I had to let go of something I so dearly cared about. I had to let go of something that had become my identity.
I felt naked, lost, and lonely. I would spend days crying and forcing myself to sleep to escape reality.
I secretly hoped Corona took me away.
But now I can say — “I am grateful for this loss”. In the process of losing myself, and trying to re-build my belief-system, my ambitions, my identity, I learned a lot more about me.
To fight the darkest of my demons, and find HOPE, I challenged myself to take the #1000DayChallenge.
I look forward to the journey of exploring myself and emerging out stronger and sharper.